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Growth & Development

 
- Death & Dying
- Emotions -

Growth & Development



The Dying Person's Emotions

Ψ  A major factor in our understanding of the gamut of emotional reactions among the dying was the pioneering work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1926-2004), who found that: although many terminally ill patients were eager to discuss their feelings & learn the truth about their condition, doctors often instructed family members to avoid such a discussion, resulting in isolation & sorrow for both the patients & their families.

Kubler-Ross's proposed that the dying go through five emotional stages.

    stage 1:  Denial - most often skipped by older people
       stage 2:  Anger
          stage 3:  Bargaining
             stage 4:  Depression
                stage 5:  Acceptance - Not  to be mistaken for a happy stage.

Ψ  Other researchers have found that her stages, when they occur, do not always occur in the sequence she proposed. More typically, denial, anger & depression appear & reappear during the dying process, depending largely on the specific context of the death.

Emotional Reactions to Dying

  •     The age of the dying person also affects the way he/she feels:
     
  •     Young children are usually upset by the thought of dying because it suggests the idea of being separated from loved ones.
     
  •     Adolescents, who tend to focus on the quality of present life, may be primarily concerned with the effect of their condition on their appearance & social relationships.
     
  •     For the young adult, coping with dying often produces rage & depression,
    at the idea that, just as life is beginning, it must end.
     
  •     Middle-aged adults may be primarily concerned about meeting
    important obligations & responsibilities.
     
  •     An older adult's feelings about dying depend more on the situation. If one's spouse has already died & if the illness brings pain & infirmity, acceptance of death is comparatively easy.
     
  •     The emotional response to death also depends on the age of the mourner. Little children are often angry that the dying person abandoned them.
     
  •     Deaths that are expected are generally easier to cope with because they permit anticipatory grief.



Epilogue: Death & Dying
Robert C. Gates
 

Strange--is it not?--that of the myriads who
Before us passed the door of Darkness through,
Not one returns to tell us of the road
Which to discover we must travel too.

- Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat