|
The Dying Person's Emotions
Ψ A major factor in our understanding of the gamut of emotional reactions among the dying was the pioneering work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (1926-2004), who found that: although many terminally ill patients were eager to discuss their feelings & learn the truth about their condition, doctors often instructed family members to avoid such a discussion, resulting in isolation & sorrow for both the patients & their families.
Kubler-Ross's proposed that the dying go through five emotional stages.
stage 1: Denial - most often skipped by older people
stage 2: Anger
stage 3: Bargaining
stage 4: Depression
stage 5: Acceptance - Not to be mistaken for a happy stage.
Ψ Other researchers have found that her stages, when they occur, do not always occur in the sequence she proposed. More typically, denial, anger & depression appear & reappear during the dying process, depending largely on the specific context of the death.
Emotional Reactions to Dying
- The age of the dying person also affects the way he/she feels:
- Young children are usually upset by the thought of dying because it suggests the idea of being separated from loved ones.
- Adolescents, who tend to focus on the quality of present life, may be primarily concerned with the effect of their condition on their appearance & social relationships.
- For the young adult, coping with dying often produces rage & depression,
at the idea that, just as life is beginning, it must end.
- Middle-aged adults may be primarily concerned about meeting
important obligations & responsibilities.
- An older adult's feelings about dying depend more on the situation. If one's spouse has already died & if the illness brings pain & infirmity, acceptance of death is comparatively easy.
- The emotional response to death also depends on the age of the mourner. Little children are often angry that the dying person abandoned them.
- Deaths that are expected are generally easier to cope with because they permit anticipatory grief.
Epilogue: Death & Dying
Robert C. Gates
|
Strange--is it not?--that of the myriads who
Before us passed the door of Darkness through,
Not one returns to tell us of the road
Which to discover we must travel too.
- Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat
|
